Finals Induced Nostalgia.

Somewhere between the exhaustion induced early morning haze and working tirelessly on my final projects, I realized something. This is the last finals week I will ever have. Even though I'm not graduating until August, my course schedule this summer will be very easy and minimal. So this week, these next few days are the last times I will ever have to feel the mounting stress of finals. This is the last time I will have to stay up for almost three days straight. The last time I will pull my hair out over papers and projects and tests. And what I realize most of all is that I'm actually a little bit sad about it.



I know what you're thinking, that the lack of sleep has gotten to your brain and made you delirious. I never thought I would feel sad at the prospect of never dealing with finals week again. Finals time is incredibly stressful. You barely sleep. You eat mounds of junk food and you study, perfect papers and projects until your brain becomes numb. It's emotionally and mentally draining.


But somewhere in the middle of all the insanity and chaos, something beautiful happens. I realized that some of the best nights of my undergraduate education were during finals week, in my sorority house. I know it sounds crazy to think that anyone could have fun during such a dark time but, I did. Some of the best conversations I've ever had happened during finals week.


My sisters and I would all settle into our chapter room with our books, laptops and obligatory snacks. We would basically move into that room for a week only leaving to eat, shower, nap and take our finals. Sometimes we would watch movies while we studied other times we just talked and as it got later we got crazier. We would stop studying every once in a while to crank the music up and dance around. We liked to call this "Club P". As the bass boomed and led to the break down, we would stomp (or in my case attempt to stomp) and laugh. For a brief moment we felt free and wild. We weren't studying for finals right then we were just being young. The music, although fast-paced, had a calming effect on us. After our song of choice ended we would feel a little more relaxed and refreshed.


Sometimes we did cartwheels across the floor. Some nights we whipped our hair back and forth so hard that our stomaches hurt from laughter. We would visit our friend hatchet lady and hope she would chase us around her neighborhood. She usually didn't, but it was still nice to get out of the house for a while. We made QT runs frequently. We needed our donuts,chips, Pepsi, Big Red and Cheetos to help us focus. One time we even called McDonald's to see what time they started serving breakfast. Then we piled everyone into one car and drove through their drive-thru three times before completing all our orders. We would push each other to keep going. We helped each other study. And sometimes in the early hours of the morning we told each other our deepest secrets.


Yes, finals was exhausting but it was also in a warped way so fun. As I study in my room alone in my apartment I find myself nostalgic for those moments and just a little sad that those days are over. I don't doubt I'm the only person who has managed to stay sane during finals by going insane. I don't doubt I'm the only person who has fond memories of those late nights with best friends. What makes me sad is I didn't realize how special and precious those moments were until now. If I had realized that maybe I would have cherished finals week a little more. It doesn't really matter thoughm because I know how important those moments were now. And I will hold onto them. I will save them for another dark night when I'm working late on a huge project for my job. In the dim light of my office while i'm hunched over my computer or holed up in a conference room, I'll remember those moments. And I will smile and again those memories will make another dark night bright.